Writing exercise

He was the kind of man who could make a woman feel safe and giddy at the same time. His smile was exuberant, stretching too far across his face, as if his body could not contain his joy. He didn’t smile often, except for a near-constant sexy half smirk. It was as though he was all too aware of the power of his real smile. Surely he must have noticed that that smile dazzled everyone around him, leaving women slightly breathless and almost unable to speak.

[This is how I see you. I wonder if you’ll ever know it.]

~

You can’t use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have.

Maya Angelou

Peace in Everyday Events

If you pay attention, you can find peace in everyday events.

In the beauty of a winter sunset.

In the comfort of a bubble bath after a long day.

In preparing your favorite food.

In painting your toenails the perfect cheerful shade of pink.

In balmy spring weather that makes you want to sit on the porch, drink tea, and read all day.

In having him look at you like you are the most beautiful woman in the world.

But you miss these things if you’re not paying attention.

Why I Blog (Meme)

1.  How long have you been blogging?

I’ve been blogging here for a month today, but I’ve had a blog on Tumblr for about 15 months.

2.  Why did you start blogging?I started a tumblr because I took a quiz for fun one day where you put in the websites you used and how often you used them, and it suggested something else you might enjoy. It suggested Tumblr, and I was bored, so I signed up and immediately became addicted. But although Tumblr is possibly the easiest blogging platform ever, in some respects, it is too easy. Because of the convenience of the reblog button, I found myself hardly generating any original content. That prompted my move to WordPress, where, even though it’s harder to find other blogs I enjoy, it is more conducive to actually writing.

3.  What have you found to be the benefits of blogging?

The best part of blogging is the friendships that come out of it. I have several very good online friends from Tumblr, and I’m already making friends here. When I first began blogging, I did not expect to make friends, so it was certainly an unexpected blessing. I also enjoy the creative outlet and getting to share my thoughts, particularly about books.

4.  How many times a week do you post an entry?

Every day, often more than once a day.

5.  How many different blogs do you read on a regular basis?I don’t even know. I follow over 500 blogs on Tumblr, but I don’t necessarily read them all regularly. I make an effort to check my friends’ blogs, but most of the blogs I follow on Tumblr I just read when their posts come across my dashboard. I use Blogger to follow several other blogs, and I follow a handful of blogs on WordPress.

6.  Do you comment on other people’s blogs?Sure, when I have something to say. Also, I’ve found that when you comment on other people’s blogs, they tend to come check yours out. That’s not to say that that’s why I leave comments, but it is nice to interact with other people.

7.  Do you keep track of how many visitors you have?  Is so, are you satisfied with your numbers?A little bit. I mean, I like knowing that people are reading my blog. The first blog I ever started was on blogspot, but I didn’t keep up with it because it was intended to be a book blog, and you’ve all read about my problems with reviewing books. Also, I had the sense that no one was reading my blog, so I just got a little bored. It definitely makes a difference to get feedback and know that people really are reading what you have to say.

8.  Do you ever regret a post that you wrote?No. If I really think I might regret writing a post, I leave it in my drafts for a bit before I publish it. If it turns out I really do regret writing it, I just don’t publish it.

9.  Do you think your audience has a true sense of who you are based on your blog?

I’m just starting out here, so I’m not sure of that yet.

10.  Do you blog under your real name?Yes.

11.  Are there topics that you would never blog about?Here, I tend to only blog about the things that inspire me. I stay away from things that anger me, including political issues. However, I am just starting out here, so that may change in the future.

12.  What is the theme/topic of your blog?Elegance, literature, and southern sass, as it says in my tag line. 🙂

13.  Do you have more than one blog?  If so, why?

I do. I have this one and 3 tumblrs. I have the three tumblrs because I found that I would post things according to my moods, and sometimes I’d be in the mood to reblog pretty pictures or pictures of cute couples, and sometimes I’d blog about feminist issues, and so on and so forth, so I created the photography and wedding tumblrs for those things.

Questions originated from this blog back a few years ago.

My Blog is Not a Book Blog and Other Blogging Thoughts

I’ve been looking for more book memes to do. I like having memes to do because they give me something to post even if I’m not feeling particularly inspired. However, I don’t consider this blog a book blog because I don’t really write book reviews. I’ve tried before, but honestly, I read too fast and too compulsively to review books. In order for me to review a book, I have to take a day or so after finishing the book to think about how I felt about it and why I felt that way. Since I cannot stand not to be currently reading something, I just can’t do that. Reacting to books is different from reviewing books. I react to books all the time, both offline and online. Reacting to books is essentially what I did when I posted about The Fault in Our Stars. I was trying to write a real review, but I loved the book so much that every time I sat down to write about it, it turned into, “I love this book and I love John Green and ASKDL;FSJAKL;DFDKLS So. Many. Emotions.” As a reaction, this fangirling is perfectly valid, but as a review, it’s not. A review has to be more carefully considered and more balanced. One has to summarize the book and point out the specific things they liked and didn’t. If I really love a book, I am apparently not capable of doing that. Also, I’ve found that it’s much easier to write a negative review than a good one. When I have multiple problems with a book (or a play, as in the case of The Vagina Monologues), I have plenty to say, but when I love something, I can’t accurately verbalize or write about why I love it. I believe it was Jane Austen who wrote, “Had I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more.” That’s the case with me.

All this is to say that I do not have a book blog. I don’t really know how to categorize this blog, honestly, but one thing is certain: although I love books more than almost anything else on earth, this blog is not a book blog.

I hope y’all have a good day, dear readers. I am off to get a snack before my science lab. (Cue groans. Science, ugh.)

 

Laurie Halse Anderson reading her poem, “Listen”

Laurie Halse Anderson wrote this poem about the response she’s gotten from readers about her novel, Speak. She read it on the tenth anniversary of the release of her novel. The poem is mainly composed of fragments from letters sent to Ms. Anderson. This poem is extremely powerful and made me weep the first time I heard it.

Untitled

I wrote this a few months ago, after seeing a video of Laurie Halse Anderson reading her poem “Listen”. It was very difficult to write, but I couldn’t get the poem and the memories it evoked out of my head.

The italicized stuff comes from Laurie Halse Anderson’s poem “Listen,” about the reader reaction to her novel Speak.

“Melinda is a lot like this girl I know. No, she’s a lot like… me.”

Like Melinda, I was raped in high school. He was my boyfriend. He said he loved me, and I believed him. But then he pressured me into doing things I wasn’t ready to do. He sexually, verbally, and emotionally abused me throughout the course of our relationship. It was my first relationship, so I didn’t know any better. I felt worthless and like no one else would ever love me, so I stayed, even once I realized that our relationship would never change. I didn’t get out of the relationship until we had the worst fight we’d ever had, one that absolutely terrified me. No one who knew me had any idea that I was being abused.

“This book opened my mouth.”

I’ve read Speak twice, once in high school before I recognized that the relationship I was in was abusive, and once when I was nineteen, after I had left the relationship, but before I had confided in anyone about the abuse. I related so much to Melinda the second time I read the novel. I knew what it felt like to be jittery and frightened around men, to have a secret you couldn’t tell even your closest friends. I knew what it felt like not to be able to speak up. And soon after that, I found out what it was like to speak up and not be supported. In part because of this novel, because I understood that only by speaking up could I heal, I felt safe enough to confide in someone, only to be terribly hurt and disappointed by his reaction.

I’ve only told two people what happened to me in detail. Well, make that one. Justin asked me to write to him and tell him why I don’t trust guys, and I wanted him to know. I thought he needed to know; if it was going to work between us, he had to know. I was incredibly anxious about his reaction, but I stripped away all the defenses I’d built up around myself and did the best I could to honestly put my experiences down on paper. It was incredibly triggering to deliberately relive things I try not to think about, but I did it because I thought it would be worth it. I had never known Justin not to be a compassionate, kind man, so although I was worried about how he would react, I didn’t truly believe he would react badly.

“I hate talking, but I am trying.”

And then I waited. First I rationalized his silence, telling myself, “He’s busy; it takes a while for letters to get there and back; a letter will come any day now.” I didn’t hear from him for two months. When I did, he said, “I’m appalled that you don’t talk about your issues, but I’m not interested in you. Please don’t write to me again.” I felt that my faith in his kindness, compassion and feelings for me had been horribly misplaced. And I was heartbroken that the person I was falling in love with thought I wasn’t good enough because of my past. I didn’t want to ever talk to anyone about the abuse I suffered again. Lately, however, I am finding the strength to talk about it, but in my own time and on my own terms.

“I hate talking, but I am trying.”

“…I think I have this idea that I can do anything by writing. Like I can be myself if I write letters… Like I can change things, punish people, fall in love, and find myself, all by writing the right words.”

–Jaclyn Moriarty, The Year of Secret Assignments